Groucho Marx Lives in GWB’s Brain

Groucho Marx had that great line: ARE YOU GOING TO BELIEVE ME OR BELIEVE YOUR OWN EYES? GW Bush's recent star-crossed trip to Australia and his extension of the Iraq War are cases in point.

When Bush conducts overseas trips, in most cases he becomes a piñata for the foreign press by his antics... Unlike the US press corps, the foreign press is less tolerant; it points to his self inflicted gaffes with glee, sometimes with arrogant superiority. The US press corps, who always dutifully follows him around here and aboard Air Force 1, is more circumspect; more sensitive to respecting the office of the President and reluctant to make an enemy of their regular, in your face, main news source. Most are just intimidated. Except for network and cable TV runs, where Bush's unintended farces now play as expected comedy, these GWB mistakes now have become routine rather than isolated. No one seems overly concerned that our President predictably makes an ass of himself on the world stage when overseas. When President Gerald Ford fell up and down airplane ramps regularly and could not find Poland on the map, Americans laughed with him. In Bush's case, America wants to cry when he acts like a spastic eighth grader overseas. The majority of America foolishly trusted his bad judgement now to learn that when he is left unscripted, there is really not much substance there.

His trip to Australia was something to behold. He could not find his way off stage, mixed up Austrian with Australian and had a Freudian slip with APIC and OPEC. Worst of all, he maladroitly handled a question on camera from the South Korean President on a Korean Peace Treaty with North Korea to end hostilities with South Korea formally. It was bad enough that our President diplomatically bungled by suggesting that nothing could be done unless North Korea disarmed, but the South Korean laughed in his face and fired back the same question, and Bush robotically repeated the same absurd answer. South Korea is a loyal ally; it exists only because of US force of arms in the bloody Korean War. Over 30,000 US troops still act as a trip wire along the DMZ and they are de facto, strategically staked goats; and, that is true even defensively, with employment US tactical nucs. So if the South Korean president felt secure enough to challenge Bush publicly, you can get some idea of what he thinks of him personally. This South Korean president is as quirky and misguided as GWB. He authorized over 20 South Korean Christian missionaries to spread the gospel in the heart of Taliban Afghanistan. They were all kidnapped; two were killed and over 20 million dollars ransom reportedly was paid for their freedom – score a big one for Allah.

At the same conference Bush added to his embarrassingly pathetic collection of sophisms of BRING HIM BACK DEAD OR ALIVE – MISSION ACCOMPLISHED – BRING EM ON with WE'RE KICKING ASS IN IRAQ. On the same day he said that, 7 US soldiers were killed there in action. To underscore the foolishness of Bush's slogans, Bin Laden popped up almost on cue with with one of those Still alive; catch me if you can tapes. General Petraeus' report certainly underscored mission was not accomplished. Based on our casualties, without question, we were also getting our ass kicked in Iraq. Petraeus is up to his ears in bring em on insurgents. As Petraeus delivered his rosy scenario before Congress, his headquarters at Camp Victory Iraq was bombarded and resulted in one coalition KIA and 18 wounded.

Not many surprises in Petraeus' congressional testimony; he called for small troop withdrawals as things are getting better and will get worse if the US withdraws major formations. He projects 130,000 troops to remain in country until Bush's term ends. Petraeus' report unfortunately, was one mass of flashing charts and who knows whether the data is correct or how it was collected. If Westmoreland's and McNamara's charts were correct, we won the Vietnam war over and over... When Petraeus accepted the role from Bush to be an advocate cheerleader spearhead for the Iraqi war, he wandered into a very dirty national political ring to face ad hominem attacks beyond those a man in uniform is normally expected to endure from his fellow citizens. Petraeus was hit hard by a leftist ad like Petraeus the Betrayer, and strident hecklers in the congressional committee room. The attack was over-the-top unfair, but Petraeus understands everything is fair in insurgent warfare, he helped author the text to fight such a war. He will join Generals Powell and Franks to reflect on their sordid integrity in service to the country.

These left wing blandishments may already have had an impact on Petraeus. On the 2nd day of the hearings at the US Senate, he was asked by Senator Warner if the strategy he is projecting for Iraq would make America safer? Warner had to ask the question twice as Petraeus dodged it the first time. Petraeus choked on his second answer and replied he did not know. This is outrageous! If Petraeus could not answer that question in the affirmative, we should fold our tents and come home immediately.

Ambassador Crocker's report effectively undermined anything positive Petraeus concocted to say about advances in security. Crocker apologized for the Iraq government failures and pathetically tried to compare the development of democracy in Iraq to the difficulties in US history. Crocker appeared pale, wan and fragile – not exactly my pick for US gauleiter for the occupation of Iraq. The US now holds over 25 thousand Iraq citizens in detention; roughly 800 of them are boys under 12 years of age. Maybe he was cringing over the fact some congressman would ask him what that does to the popularity of the US and central government. Most detainees apparently are Sunnis, so it may be okay by Shiite Malaki standards. What a squalid mess, and the US is in the middle.

The partition of Iraq seems to be the new developing US policy. Texas Hunt Oil Company recently signed an oil exploitation/profit sharing deal with the regional Kurdish regime, so expect Congress to fall in step as Big Oil flexes its muscle in Congress. Senator Wind Bag Biden, Senate Foreign Relations Committee Chairman, is already aboard on the partition of Iraq. Better hustle that oil out fast before the rearmed Sunnis or the blood-in-your-eye Turks decide to put Kurdish heads on the end of their bayonets.

To most Americans, it is apparent the Iraq war is lost. In the minds of Bush and his generals, it is not lost until the US forces pull out, so the Administration prefers to stand and die rather than face the truth. Does GWB suffer from the Texan Remember the Alamo Syndrome? And, the foolish Congress supports this. Now, new US bases are being built on the Iranian border. The same day Petraeus was testifying before Congress, the Israeli Premier Olmert called for the US to stay the course in Iraq. The result is the US media and Congress have now received their marching orders. Colonel Robert E Bartos USA RET