Obama & Countess Dracula

Bill's wife has reached the stage in the Democratic presidential primary as a living dead candidate. By any earthly metric she is finished as a candidate, but apparently, Bill's wife has concocted a supernatural probability that keeps her running. She has succeeded resurrecting herself after serious set backs in the campaign, so now, finally defeated, has deluded herself into an absurd political immorality. Never thought I would use Bram Stoker's late 19th century novel Dracula as an analytical tool to explain her bizarre conduct, but what the hell. What is one more stretch of the imagination when it comes to the squalid Arkansas travelers.

Let us call Hillary Countess Dracula; her hysterically loyal female following in this case as Old Brides of Dracula. Obama is, of course, professor Von Hesinger, the studious vampire hunter who has a terrible time to rid himself of the meddlesome demon.

The other character that pops out of Stoker's novel is Renfield. A lunatic who devours insects, flys and small animals to capture their life force – he is vicar for Countess Dracula – Terry McAullife, Bill's wife's chairperson. McAullife’s main function apart from a key spokesman, is that of a money man. The fact that Hillary's campaign is in the red to the tune 20 million dollars bespeaks of his failure. McAullife was also key to the failures of the Gore and Kerry campaigns; no matter how much he persists, he talks winning game, but always loses – a first class blowhard.

Bill Clinton’s role in his wife's campaign is key. He is a composite of several weird persona in the novel, but he deserves a special designation. From time to time Dracula's dark turf is also inhabited by werewolves, so let us call him Wolfman. He certainly has the reputation of hunting prey – usually two legged that wear skirts.

All this cast of characters inhabit Hillary's world. So far it has undermined her; her misguided self destruction over her war record in Bosnia drove the stake in her credibility. Obama has to finish her off to focus soonest for the general election. Here are a a couple of suggestions.

He can go defensive. Only meet her between sunrise and sunset when her powers are weakest. By all means avoid getting bit by her. He can wear a necklace of garlic and change his sometimes flag pin for a small lapel crucifix. Offensively, he can hire Buffy the Vampire Slayer to fix her. Or if he prefers to avoid a third party, he can go on eBAY and find a vampire slayer kit and follow instructions.

The best course of action is patience – to follow the advice on a campaign sign at one of his rallies. STOP THE DRAMA. VOTE OBAMA. Colonel Robert E Bartos USA Ret.